Monmouth Attorneys Help Parents Prepare Their Kids for Divorce
Every year thousands of children of all ages go through divorce with their parents. For most families it can be a stressful time. As parents, there are some things that you can do to ease the stress and minimize the heartache during divorce.
The Bronzino Family Law Firm *732-812-3102* is committed to providing the best quality representation for residents of Monmouth and Ocean Counties. If you are facing divorce or a suit for child custody, contact us today at *732-812-3102* for a free confidential consultation. We have extensive experience in all family law matters and can review your case with you in .
Divorce Guide for Point Pleasant Parents
Naturally every child processes things differently and there can be a range of reactions. Even so, kids responses tend to be similar according to age and the circumstances of the separation and divorce process. The extent to which your divorce will affect your children often depends on a number of factors, but the most influential of these are the manner in which you and your spouse co-parent.
4 Ways Wall Parents Can Help Kids Handle Divorce
- Maintain calm, collegial and courteous behavior in front of your children and in the home. Even if the kids are not in the room, they could be around the corner, in a door way or on the stairs. Any signs of conflict, legal talk, or even threats could give them cause to worry and stress.
- Keep your children’s daily routines and activities as normal as possible. If you and your co-parent can cover for each other or trade off on pick-ups or attending sports, music or other activities; you are putting your child in the best position to thrive. However, be sure to explain who’s doing what and when to your kids. It helps them to know what to expect. Be sure to be there when it’s your turn and your time.
- If you or your ex-spouse need to vent your thoughts and feelings, don’t do it at home when the kids are also at home. (This kind of discussion is probably only productive in a support group or professional setting where you are more likely to get useful and constructive feedback.
- The fourth way for both you and your co-parent to help your kids is to stay actively involved in their lives. This might seem to be more difficult for the non-custodial parent, but try to find other ways to make up for lack of everyday time. As the saying goes, “quality over quantity”.
Your Family Lawyer Supports Ocean County Families Facing Divorce
First, remember to choose what you say and to whom carefully, and with awareness of the potential fall outs that can happen. Sometimes it seems like friends and family are good choices to talk to when you need to discharge pent up aggravation and anger. However, no matter how confidential you think the conversation is, it’s often not.
A friend or family member is likely to relate the conversation to a spouse or someone else. It’s innocent, but when they do, they may not be so careful about who is in earshot. Their kids tell your kids… and, 3 levels of re-telling later, what’s related is probably a version of the original conversation that is significantly modified. Besides affecting your kids, some comments could be brought up in court and affect the outcome on things such as the alimony agreement.
Second, support your kids, not vice versa. Don’t expect or look for support from your kids –even if they seem to encourage it. Your children are not your equals and no matter how mature they are, even in their late teens, they will almost always still process and rationalize as a teenager, and as your child, not as an adult. It’s nearly impossible for kids to neutral parties in a divorce, so don’t ask it of them. Your and your spouse’s support must come from somewhere else.
Create a plan to tell the kids about the divorce…
When you’re certain of your plans, make a strategic “tell-the-kids” plan with your soon-to-be ex-spouse. Set up some mutually agreed upon rules for engagement ahead of time and agree to guide yourselves by what’s best for the kids. Talk to your kids together about your decision to live apart, setting aside any anger or blame as you do.
It can even be helpful to practice what you’re going to say and how you’ll respond to their possible questions or reactions. Depending upon the age(s) of your child(ren), you can anticipate initial reactions to be bewilderment or shock, sadness, anger, or worry. Be as understanding, supporting and reassuring as you both can. The good news is that kids are tremendously resilient. As they cope with this life experience surrounded and reassured by love, they will learn to cope with unhappiness and stress, and develop stronger characters because of it.
Contact Our Brick NJ Law Firm Today for a Free Case Evaluation
The Bronzino Law Firm is committed to providing the best quality representation for residents of Monmouth and Ocean Counties and surrounding communities. If you are facing a divorce, child custody suit or other family law issue contact us today at (732) 856-5730. We have the experience you’re looking for.