Divorce for older couples with adult children
Dealing with Divorce for older couples Brick and Sea Girt Divorce Attorney
It is often the case with most parents that no matter how old your children are, you never lose the desire to take care of them.
Taking care of children is often a challenge in cases of divorce where adult children are involved. It is natural to be worried about how your adult children are handling the dramatic changes that come with divorce, or how they’ll fare after? Moreover, the impact on grandchildren cannot be understated.
Many divorcing couples of older age often find it useful to have some constructive strategies to help their adult child during divorce. These include:
- Not trying to “fix” problems. Though it may be counterintuitive, this may only create more conflict. It is better to just offer unwavering support and maintain a non-judgmental attitude.
- Establishing healthy boundaries will help to keep concerned family members from causing more conflict that is necessary. You will always want to be there for your children and grandchildren, but it is critical not to burn yourself out or take on more responsibility than you reasonably can.
- Manage your own anxiety. To lower your anxiety it is often effective to try meditating, therapy or confiding in your spouse or friends. Staying calm and grounded will help your children do the same.
- Never speak ill of or bad-mouth the other parent. Divorces often bring up many negative feelings, and in cases where there are adult children, these problems and feelings have often persisted for years. However, no matter what the negative issues were during your marriage it is important to keep your feelings about them to yourself when you’re around your children and grandchildren.
One of the often overlooked yet critical factors in getting through a divorce in the best possible shape is your choice of attorney. Hiring the right family law attorney is one of the most important decisions you will make in divorce. Some important factors when choosing a divorce attorney are:
- Does the attorney primarily practice family law?
- Is the attorney skilled and experienced at handling asset/financial issues?
- Is the attorney understanding and sympathetic to your family’s issues and unique challenges?
- How does the attorney typically settle a case? (i.e., mediation or litigation).
Other Challenges face by Older Divorcing Couples
According to a recent study conducted by the National Center for Family & Marriage Research, the rate of divorce for individuals 55-64 years of age has more than doubled since 1990 while the rate has tripled for those 65 years of age and older. Those going through a ‘golden age’ divorce face different challenges than those who may be facing divorce at a younger age.
The experience of divorce is emotionally and financially traumatic and includes a long list of psychological and financial side effects that lead to “burnout”. Once the divorce is finalized, the phase of self-realization presents difficulties, as the individuals face life after years of sharing love, memories and experience in a long marriage with children and perhaps grandchildren.
The challenges faced by older divorcing couple often include:
1. Retirement Benefits and Social Security
Though it is customary in divorce cases to divide the wealth, the question of distributing Social Security benefits presents different challenges. Pension is considered to be a joint asset so when couples divorce at or above the age when they become eligible to collect Social Security their records must be examined to calculate the amount each individual is eligible to receive. This means that when the money is released, it is divided into equal amounts of funds deposited in both partner’s bank accounts. The same thing is true when it comes to retirement benefit funds.
2. Division of Assets
The division of assets is an often contentious issue when it comes to divorce. A primary challenge comes from the need to identify marital and premarital property. It is much more difficult to determine these factors for older couples that divorce because of the length of the marriages.
3. Health Insurance
Health insurance affects the spouse who is not employed and has health insurance benefits provided by his or her partner. Moreover, not having insurance coverage during old age, when health often begins to deteriorate and health care costs increase, can present a major challenge for the uninsured.
4. Life Insurance
Another consideration for older couples who divorce is a life insurance policy, in which an individual can remove their partner as a beneficiary of his or her policy ahead of the potential divorce action. Again, this is a massive blow to the other partner. Sadly, there is no formulated legal framework that can be used to prevent this kind of action unless the divorce process has already begun.
Any one of the above-mentioned issues can become very complicated. For this reason, your choice of an experienced and skilled attorney is critical toward the quality of life you will have after your divorce.
Contact an Experienced New Jersey Divorce Attorney Today
At Bronzino Law Firm, our divorce attorneys are experienced in guiding older couples through the process of divorce across Wall, Sea Girt, Pt Pleasant, Brick, Toms River and across the Jersey Shore.
Our direct approach handles communication with all involved parties and upholds the best interests of our clients and their children for an amicable separation, so our clients can orient themselves toward their future.
To connect with an experienced member of our firm today regarding your divorce, please contact us to schedule your free consultation: 732-812-3102 or contact us online or through either our Brick, NJ office or our Sea Girt, NJ offices.