An Insightful Look at How Political Disagreements are Affecting Marital Relationships and Dissolutions in NJ

Today’s political climate has Americans more divided than ever.  An increase in political activity and a decrease in political moderates has set the stage for strong opinions regarding topics such as immigration, education, gun reform, abortion, and healthcare. One-quarter of Americans identify as far left or right politically, and 49% of Democrats and 66% of Republicans view the opposite party as threatening the nation’s growth and prosperity.  According to a recent Pew survey three decades ago, 17% of Republicans had a very unfavorable opinion regarding Democrats.  That has now increased to 43%.  16% of Democrats had an unfavorable opinion of Republicans, which has increased as well to 38%.

Both parties surround themselves with people who believe as they do.  Half of conservatives and a third of liberals seek residence in areas where the general population supports their political views. 30% of Republicans say they would disapprove of a family member marrying a Democrat, and 23% of Democrats feel the same way.  If a marriage is bipartisan, pressure or isolation from family members could cause tension between the spouses.  Nothing will ruin a Thanksgiving dinner as quickly as a kerfuffle about politics.  Both Democrats and Republicans indicate that at least half of their friends partially share their political beliefs.

Why People Find Themselves More Politically Polarized in Today’s News and Social Media Environment

In recent years, the number of news programs available through streaming or cable has more than doubled. Of the three major networks (MSNBC, CNN, FOX), 65% of the air time is dedicated to opinion pieces and political interviews, an overall increase of 77% from 2004.  The audience chooses their news source based on the political views expressed in the programs, creating an echo chamber that reflects their own beliefs.

Social media applications such as Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok are forums that allow users to express their opinions (which are sometimes mistaken for facts), and lend themselves to ugly arguments in the comment section.  The feed for social media is controlled by algorithms that post topics that coincide with the user’s likes and viewing patterns.  If someone watches videos that support Democratic ideas, that is what they will continue to see.  This becomes problematic when an audience is exposed to only one side of a political view.  The ever-famous. “I saw it on the internet, so it must be true” can facilitate misconceptions on both sides of the political aisle.

Disclosing the Effect of Extreme Political Views on Family Bonds and Society

Our nation’s political panorama has never been so divided as the parties continue to move further apart.  As conservative and liberal extremists refuse to find compromise or a middle ground, fewer political decisions are being made.  Society is bombarded with hyperbole and outright misinformation from both sides through social media and biased news reporting. Social hot-button issues such as abortion and rights for the LGBTQ community can make disagreements feel very personal.

In the past, political policy was a blend of ideas from both parties. After the 2016 elections, however, there was a distinct paradigm shift among members of both parties due to the availability and timeliness of information through social media, laying the groundwork for a more marked separation.  Regarding families, living in a home where there are constant heated discussions can produce an environment of fear and anxiety, especially among children.  They are also affected at school because of the debates between parents about curriculum issues and banned books.  Children have the right to learn without being exposed to polarized political matters.  Lastly, some family members may self-isolate to avoid arguments.  Feeling alienated from their extended family or spouse may cause them to withdraw.  A loss of engagement with friends and family could lead to depression, loneliness, and anxiety.

Difficulties that Often Arise When Spouses are Political Opposites

People’s affiliation with a political party is usually directly related to their identity and beliefs. In a recent study, Republicans and Democrats agreed that families and children were the most valuable aspects of their lives. It is there that the similarities cease in many ways.  Republicans put faith and religion in second place, friends and community in third, and then material well-being, work, and society in general.  Democrats prioritized friends in second place, material well-being, career, physical and mental health, and hobbies or recreation.

With such stark differences, it is no wonder why some married couples reject their partner’s political beliefs.  There could be trouble ahead when political beliefs are tied to deeply rooted moral opinions.   Examples of polarizing topics include immigration, gun control, abortion, economic changes, tax reform, education, and government-managed healthcare.  Arguments such as these can lead to insults, hurt feelings, and frustration.  Both spouses believe they are morally right and will not budge.  When these arguments arise, there are times that the spouses may ask themselves, “Who is this person?”  Alternatively, some spouses may try to change their partner’s mind by inundating them with what they consider proof in an unrelenting flurry of reasons, waiting for the desired response.  Arguing about topics that are core beliefs can lead spouses to split when they realize the conflict will always remain.  Living with the stress and resentment often becomes too heavy a burden to bear.

Does it Spell the End of a Marriage When Love and Politics Collide?

About one-third of married couples claim to belong to different political parties, but this doesn’t mean they are all headed for divorce.  Approximately 27% of bipartisan couples experience tension with their partner over political issues.  In 2016, Ten out of 100 marriages ended due to political arguments, with younger couples being the most common victims of this malaise.  A recent poll determined that 22% of millennials cited political arguments as contributing factors to their demise.

The Dynamics of Political Fluidity Among Couples

Political views can be changed due to several life experiences. Continued education, life experiences, and exposure to different ideas can change a person’s political affiliation.  Most people over 40 would agree that they are not the same person idealistically that they were in their early 20s.  Changes may be subtle or radical, depending on the person. Sometimes, a spouse experiences changes that match the political views of their partner, and other times, the change occurs in the opposite direction.

Proactive Methods to Keep Political Conflicts from Ending in Divorce

Navigating potential political landmines in a relationship requires boundaries, patience, and communication skills. First, not every day has to have a political discussion. Create politically free zones where the topic is off the table and plan a time when you can dedicate 100% of your attention and energy to a conversation. Once you are having that conversation, listening carefully without interrupting, being sarcastic, or responding negatively is helpful.  If the conversation becomes heated or certain topics are too sensitive, be ready to step back, cool off, and decide whether you are ready to continue.

The language you use in a political discussion is key.  Phrases such as,” What I hear you saying is X,” or “I am curious about how you came to that conclusion.  Tell me more.”  By staying calm and recognizing the other person’s point of view, there is less chance of an argument.  The same is true for identifying components you share, such as a hobby, style of music, or movie genre.  By focusing on what brought you together, you demonstrate the strength of your relationship outside of the political arena.

Sometimes, couples have different opinions about several topics. Avoiding insults, keeping discussions civil, and being willing to disagree peacefully are vital components of a marriage. If that is impossible, seeking professional help is always a good idea.  Because getting a divorce is rarely about one problem in marriage, counseling is an ideal way to hash out all of the marital issues with a professional who can show you the best ways to communicate with your spouse.  If an agreement can’t be reached for some reason, at least you will know you did everything you could.

Divorce Looms Large after Political Disagreements and Value-Based Conflicts in NJ, Now What?

New Jersey allows spouses to file for a no-fault divorce, as is the case for irreconcilable differences. This type of divorce is granted when a couple can demonstrate that their separation is undeniable and permanent.  Neither party has to show evidence that the marriage is irreparably broken.  This facilitates the divorce process, which takes less of the court’s time and the parties’ money for legal representation.

Facing Divorce Over Political Differences in New Jersey? Why Choose Bronzino Law Firm

If you are going to file for divorce or have questions regarding a possible separation, the Bronzino Law Firm can help. Our family law attorneys serve clients in Point Pleasant, Eatontown, Tinton Falls, Wall, Rumson, Middletown, Bay Head, Barnegat, Toms River, and everywhere else in Ocean and Monmouth Counties.  We will inform you of your options and provide practical solutions for your case.  Our top-notch attorneys have successfully helped hundreds of clients like you to navigate the pitfalls of divorcing, especially under contentious circumstances.  We understand how stressful and anxiety-provoking a divorce can be. Whether through mediation or litigation, we have the experience to achieve a divorce resolution that will protect your rights and interests for the future.  We want what is best for you and your family.  Whether it is negotiating spousal support or the equitable distribution of assets, we are on your side and will guide you through the process. Ultimately, our job is to accompany you through the legal system and secure the best possible outcome for you.  Call our office today at (732) 812-3102 to speak with a member of our team or complete a short contact form online, to request a free consultation.